I can’t remember the days. All I know is I’m sleeping more, I’m lethargic, my body is starting to feel what I feel on the inside. I’m aware that I’m exhibiting classic signs of depression. I’m even craving sweets.

I care but the feeling of disconnection is so prevalent that I cannot see a way to bridge the gap. My birthday draws near and I panic somewhat, fearing that it’s going to echo birthdays past…ringing of disappointment and loneliness.

I don’t understand why I just can’t be happy.

I don’t post because I don’t want to talk about this mess we’re in - me, myself, and I. I have empaths following me and I’m not trying to share feelings that I’m pretty sure they know all too well, only to have it be a trigger for them.

But I figure maybe we all just need to know someone out there understands. We’re not alone.

Confession:
No confession.

Oracle:
No oracle.

Body: 
Classic symptoms of depression. Body aches, sleeping more often, lack of motivation, emotional eating. Oh yes.

Virtue/Vice: 
Virtue: Considering an alternative plan, revisiting a dream that can still come true.

Vice: having the sads.

Relinquish: 
Hopelessness. Though I honestly have no idea how to give any of this up because when I think I have and end up back here, it’s clear I haven’t.  

Inspiration/Gods:
One Direction. Yes indeed. Watching their interviews gave me a few well needed laughs. 

Structure: 
The battle between letting myself break down and fighting it. I don’t know if that’s structure but that’s pretty much the architecture of my day.

9 months ago · 0 notes